Conspiracy Theory Friday: Cut. It. Out.

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I’m not sure if this one is technically a conspiracy, an urban legend, or just a heavily guarded secret.  Either way, Larry David couldn’t get to the bottom of it, and I think it’s time we just let it go.

I’m talking of course about the rumor that Alanis Morissette’s You Oughta Know  is about the breakup of her relationship with television star and comedian, Dave Coulier.  This may be the only time you ever hear me say these words, so listen carefully, “Put yourself in her position for a moment.”

She had finally gotten all the slime from Nickelodeon’s You Can’t Do That On Television  washed out of her hair, and had released a song, whose vengeful tone and piercing vocals made it an anthem for a generation of man-hating, lesbian apologists, only to have a rumor surface that that very song was about Joey from Full House.

Joey?!

Imagine the very source of your popularity becoming fodder for your own ridicule if the truth were to come out.  Ever.  It’s no wonder she hasn’t come clean on this one, and I for one say, “Leave her alone!”

If we were to force her to admit thatYou Oughta Know  was indeed aimed at Uncle Joey, then we also force her to admit that she went down on him in a theater, and possibly bugged him in the middle of dinner as well, both brazen acts for a naive girl from America’s Hat.

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7 Responses to “Conspiracy Theory Friday: Cut. It. Out.”

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