For My Wife. From Asshole


I might be a little late on this post.  I usually notice this sentiment on Valentine’s Day cards (or should I say Love Day cards, you know to avoid any religious overtones since it was once SAINT Valentine’s Day), but I have felt it with Anniversary cards as well.

So many cards written from a husband to his wife, no matter the occasion, may as well be signed “Love, Jerk” or “All my love, Dickhead.”  They all seem to start out:  I know I don’t say it as often as I should…  or I need to get better at sharing my feelings with you…  or I just never seem to listen to what you’re really telling me…  or I’m sorry you caught me staring at that waitress with the big tits when we were at that restaurant…  Or I know I make a big deal about you trimming your area, yet I keep bringing my scraggly ball sack to our love making sessions…  or whatever, you get the point.  Why are there so few cards that show the man in a good light?

Many years ago I found one, but there was a drawback.  There was a black couple on the front.  Well it wasn’t a problem for me, I thought it was hysterical.  It would be beyond hilarious to present my then girlfriend a Valentine’s Day card with a loving black couple on the cover.  In fact, I couldn’t stop giggling as she was opening it.

Well that Valentine’s Day ended with a long conversation about mature relationships, and I was given a week to figure out what I wanted from ours.  Yea, that was the last week we were together, and I still laugh when I think about the card.  Wow, I haven’t grown in the last twenty years.  I’m gonna have to try not to dwell on that.


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3 Responses to “For My Wife. From Asshole”

  1. Or… “Dear wife: I’m sorry I write about ex-girlfriends in my blog.” Just kidding! :) Very funny! And I happen to think the card is hysterical!

  2. Hey Soup, thanks for coming by and commenting on my blog! Always nice to make new blog acquaintances. Hope to see you around again. I’ll be checking back on you too!