Flash… A-Aah… Savior Of The Universe!


We’ve certainly had our share of problems with flash mobs during the first few months of this year here in Philadelphia.  I’m not talking about groups of people who show up at a train station (thanks to a mass email, text, tweet, facebook status update, or whatever they do on myspace), and break into an impromptu, yet well-rehearsed dance routine that leaves commuters standing there scratching their collective heads.  No, the Philly Phlash Mobs are not like that at all. 

The Philly mobs, after being summoned to a location following some social media blast, quickly evolve into a frenzy of bloodthirsty violence.  Cool, huh?  And rather than scratching their heads, lucky onlookers are left clutching their heads or tending to gashes in their heads, etc.  But rest easy Philadelphia, our local Fox affiliate and Mayor Michael Nutter really seem to have an answer for this one. 

An answer in the form of a question.

Last week, I was watching the American Idol  results show, then Fox’s local 10 O’Clock News began with a question I hadn’t heard since my childhood:  “It’s 10 o’clock.  Do you know where your children are?”  The next day, this sentiment was echoed in a PSA (Public Service Announcement) from the Honorable Mayor Nutter.

My first thought was that the Lower Merion School District IT department probably has a good idea where your kid is.  (local joke)

My second thought (or rather, my inner game show host’s thought), was that it would sure be nice if the parents of these flash mob animals (contestants) could answer a few preliminary questions and sort of work their way up to that big bonus question.  For example:

Do you know how many children you have?  (10 points)

Do you know your child(ren)’s name(s)?  (10 points)

What is your child(ren)’s birthday(s)?  (20 points)

Do you know what grade your child(ren)’s in?  (20 points)

At what school?  (25 points)

Then the 100 point, “Do you know where your child is?” question.  (Do you mean right now?)

At first blush, these questions may seem pretty simple, but much like the three questions fired at you by Airport Security, their beauty, and ultimately effectiveness, lie in their simplicity.  If they are unable to answer any of these correctly, why should we expect them to be able to pinpoint their offspring’s exact location at 10:00?  Although, I guess they could activate the GPS on their kids’ cell phones.  I hope prepaid cell phones have GPS, because I’ll depend on technology over parenting every time.

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8 Responses to “Flash… A-Aah… Savior Of The Universe!”

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