Who’s Got A Good Picture Of Themselves From The Eighties?

Here’s a real thinker for ya… Does each generation get better looking (generally speaking) than the generation before it? Or do the changes in prevailing clothing and hair styles make comparisons impossible. I for one, am finding it increasingly difficult masturbating to women in the old black and white silent movies of the thirties, even though I’m sure they were the sirens of their day. I can’t be alone on this.

I was flipping through the channels last night and ended up parking on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off already in progress. I came in near the end when Cameron was kicking the shit out of his Dad’s Ferrari, and both Ferris and Sloane (the reason I am even pondering this question) looked on in shock. Anyway I got to thinking, what the hell was with the movie girlfriends in the 80′s? Is it the style, or are they just not anywhere near as good looking as the movie girlfriends today? This is one of those rare cases where I don’t have an answer for you. But I do have a list and some pics, so you can let me know what you think.

In no particular order:

Mia Sara (Sloane Peterson) – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off - What’s with the widow’s peak? I just think a guy like Ferris could have done better.

Claudia Wells (Jen Parker) – Back To The Future – Let’s just say she’s no Elisabeth Shue.

Ally Sheedy (Leslie Hunter) – St. Elmo’s Fire - Engaged to Alec Newbary (Judd Nelson), yet also has Kevin Dolenz (Andrew McCarthy), no relation to Mickey Dolenz of the Monkees, pining after her. Am I the only one who didn’t get it. Wait she was in Wargames with Matthew Broderick too. He seems to be a common thread here. I guess that explains why Sarah Jessica Parker looked good to him.

Judie Aronson (Hilly) – Weird Science - Let me get this straight, you just created Kelly LeBrock (the eighties Kelly LeBrock) and yet you make out with Hilly?

Diane Franklin (Monique Junot) – Better Off Dead – Lane Meyer’s first girlfriend, Beth (Amanda Wyss)was bad enough, but to fall for Monique, the mechanically inclined exchange student from France — Uggh. She should have been forced into a threesome with Ricky Smith and his mother as payment for bringing her to America. And her accent was so bad, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out she really is from France.

Joyce Hyser (Terri Griffith) – Just One Of The Guys - What can I say, she’s even got a hot name. Ooooh Joyce Hyser, ooh ooh. But hey, the guy she fell for was no prize either, except of course for his mean James Brown impression. I think the fact that she looks like my cousin doesn’t really help me either.

Kerri Green (Maggie) – Lucas - I never understood this one, and Hollywood tried to force-feed her to us for a few movies.

I guess I should mention that if I saw a picture of my girlfriend from the eighties I would be embarrassed for myself as well as her. (I swear if I had one I would put it on here) She had the coat of a poodle, braces and a prominent nose. Then there’s my prom date; let’s just call her a dog of a different breed. I think I got my prom picture taken while she was in the bathroom. The photographer asked me where my date was, and I just told him to hurry up and take the picture. She’s probably just as happy about that since I was sporting a flamingo tuxedo with the shawl collar from the Miami Vice Collection.

Maybe the styles are just different. Maybe it’s not fair to compare them to the movie love interests of today, but I just don’t see any of these eightie’s girls replacing the likes of Transformers, Megan Fox et al.

Here’s some pics of the gals of today. You be the judge.

Megan Fox (Mikaela Banes) – Transformers

Scarlett Johansson – The Island, etc.

Jessica Alba – Sin City, etc.

Please comment if you have any insight on this matter, or if I’ve left any deserving girls off my list.

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17 Responses to “Who’s Got A Good Picture Of Themselves From The Eighties?”

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  12. I remember your miami vice tux. You were the shizzle in that thing. Mine was just the normal black tie. I can’t remember where our prom was though. Williamsons maybe?

  13. Haha, JM. I can’t tell you how much I wished I went straight black tux, but now that I am into publicly embarrassing myself, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. I’m pretty sure our prom was at Whitemarsh Country Club

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