I’ll Take Paul Lynde In The Center Square For The C*ck Block

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Revision: Okay, an actress, a late night talkshow sidekick, the King of Pop, an infomercial pitchman and a gay gameshow icon walk into a bar…

Paul Lynde is trying to dive into the celebrity death pool now? Give me a break! Please move my remaining chips to Wink Martindale immediately.

Haha, okay this is the point in the post when I decided to see how Paul Lynde died today, only to find out he died in 1982. Karl Malden is the one who actually died (he died of being 97. He, unlike Farrah and Paul Lynde, did not give up the balloon knot to Steve Austin). I must have misheard it, but fuck Karl Malden anyway (and keep my chips on Wink Martindale). At this point Heath Ledger would have to come back from the dead and then die again to unseat Michael.

The funny thing is I just had a conversation with someone about Paul Lynde dying and she was all like, “I know.”

PS  I’ll revise the joke again later.

PPS  I have fired my entire research department.

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