Who Gives A Shit?


Why do people get so wrapped up in determining which side of the family a new baby looks like? 

My sister just had a baby, and declared (4 hours into this baby’s life) that she looked just like her sister.  Well I guess four hours to try to cultivate her own identity was enough.  Now she will be forever linked with her sister — a sister whose own appearance has stirred the martini of controversy. 

My wife and I agree, if pressed to actually answer the question, that she resembles her father.  My parents, who don’t need to be pressed for their opinion on the subject, are in my sister’s camp.  My aunt secretly sided with my wife and I, but keeps it to herself for fear my parents and sister will stop speaking to her (inviting her to dinner is more like it).  That’s how adamant they get.  That’s how frightening it is.

If you can’t believe you are still reading this, let me direct your attention to the post’s title and remind you that I warned you.

In an effort to further piss me off, my sister also decided that she didn’t want to know the sex of her baby.  With either of her children.  “You only get so many surprises in this life,” she is fond of saying, and my mom and dad (surprise, surprise) echoed her refrain.  I found out with my son and my twins, and I really don’t undertand the logic of those who don’t find out, but hey…

Who gives a shit?

Furthermore, there is a hole or two in her whole, “You only get so many surprises in this life” theory.  First of all it will be a surprise the day the ultrasound tech tells you if it’s a boy or a girl (and those are really the only options).  And secondly, it’s just not true.  I am surprised nearly every day of my life.  Most people would attribute that to my lack of preparation or even thinking, but I am surprised every day just the same.

Anyway, congratulations to my sister and brother-in-law on the birth of their newest daughter who looks just like herself.  But remember, the fact that she was ripped from your abdomen does not prove maternity, so keep looking for that resemblence.  And if you don’t find it, I’m calling Maury.

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6 Responses to “Who Gives A Shit?”

  1. Are you a professional journalist? You write very well.

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