Tiger’s Score Thru 11 Holes

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I’ve been conspicuously silent on the Tiger Woods issue for no other reason than I’ve just been to lazy to chime in with a lame golf joke or two; but now it’s time for Soupy to step out from behind the ropes armed with that lame golf joke I referred to in the last sentence.

It seems like everyday brings us another revelation in the story, so I thought (as a public service to my readers) I would put together this scorecard to get everyone up to speed.  Just as in golf, the lower the score the better.

HOLE #1
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Rachel Uchitel
Former Las Vegas VIP host
Score: BIRDIE

HOLE #2
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Jaimie Grubbs
Reality TV star & texter
Score: BOGEY

HOLE #3
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Kalika Moquin
Nightlife exec from Las Vegas
Score: BOGEY

Hole #4
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Jamie Junger
Las Vegas model (I think we all know what that means)
Score: BOGEY

HOLE #5
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Mindy Lawton
34 year old Perkins waitress (Tiger hit his tee shot OB on this one)
Score: DOUBLE-BOGEY

HOLE #6
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Cori Rist
I have no info on her, but she looks a little long in the tooth
Score: BOGEY

HOLE #7
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Holly Sampson
Is there anything hotter than a 37 year old porn star with 80+ films to her credit. Wow she must have just broken into the biz last year.
Score: PAR (simply because porn stars are not as easy to have sex with as you might think)

HOLE #8
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An unidentified Orlando woman.
Score: PAR (for now)

HOLE #9
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An unidentified TV Broadcaster (maybe Suzy Kolber)
Score: BOGEY

HOLE #10
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Another unidentified woman who will be making a statement next week
Score: PAR (for now)HOLE #11
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Joslyn James
What’s hotter than a 37 year old porn star? A 39 year old porn star
Score: BOGEY

RECAP:

FRONT 9: +6
BACK 9: +1

THRU 11 HOLES: +7

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9 Responses to “Tiger’s Score Thru 11 Holes”

  1. That last one looks like Ted Kennedy, in his youth, in drag…or wait, that’s Maria Schriver.

  2. Dude. That had me laughing. I love the whole Orlando Bloom photo.

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