The Blog After The Baby Blog

Double strollers are not inconspicuous.  They are also apparently some sort of ice-breaker as well.  Every person you pass feels compelled to at least try to look into it, and most will actually stop you and ask you questions or tell you about some person that they know who has twins which gives them a perfect opportunity to offer advice which is really why they stopped you in the first place, isn’t it?  People seem to love giving advice, especially about things they have no authority in.  And you would be absolutely amazed by the staggering number of times I’ve been asked by these know-it-alls if my boy/girl twins are identical (and they’re only 4 days old).

But the idiotic questions don’t hold a candle to my favorite “baby-people” of all time.  They have got to be the new mothers or the women expecting their first children who are so impressed with themselves and what they’ve accomplished or the magical journey they are about to embark on that starts with their precious vaginas.  I envision them wearing tee shirts that say something like I CAN BRING LIFE FROM MY VAGINA, WHAT CAN YOU DO?

There were a couple of these women on the tour of the maternity ward with my wife and I the other week.  They are easy to identify (I’m sure you all know at least one), they have their notebooks with them, and they ask questions like, “Will I be able to breastfeed my child in the first second of his/her life?”  (Like before the baby gets a chance to breathe, its mouth should be filled with your amazing milk producing nipple).  And that’s another thing, they usually don’t want to know the sex of their child until it is born.  It’s more magical that way, and there is still the chance that they could give birth to a unicorn or something of that ilk.  I think that this type of women who ask these types of questions would be secretly thrilled if they found out someone from their tour group left and immediately got an abortion because they knew they were not nearly as equipped for motherhood as this magnificent woman who has a back-up birth plan and a first and second-string doula.

I know the moment babies are born is amazing, miraculous even.  It’s brought me to tears three times, but I also know that babies have been delivering themselves for years now, and these extra special female specimens (priestesses if you will) are not the only ones reproducing.  I’m as proud a parent as anyone, which means I’m proud of my children and their accomplishments, not of how I made it all possible with a roll in the hay.  I’m Soupy and I’m just keeping it real up in the field.

Twitter Digg Delicious Stumbleupon Technorati Facebook Email

No comments yet... Be the first to leave a reply!