What A Retard

Wow Barack! Special Olypics, huh? (Good thing your disdain for the handicapped didn’t come out during the campaign or Sarah Palin would have ripped you a new asshole) I guess you’ve been spending too much time with the Joe “the gaffe-meister” Biden? And it looks like you left your teleprompter back in Washington, huh?

I smell a sitcom.

The Pitch: Okay, Obama’s out of office, hopefully it’s 2013, but maybe it’s 2017, it doesn’t matter. The show follows the friendship, make that bromance, between the former President and his teleprompter. They go everywhere together. Sometimes the prompter will play tricks on Barry and tell him to say inappropriate things, and other times he will just say inappropriate things on his own. Either way, hilarity ensues. Watch as Barack tries to make his teleprompter blend in a la Weekend at Bernie’s.

From the most mundane of tasks:
GROCERY CASHIER: Paper or plastic?
THE PRESIDENT: (looks at teleprompter) Make no mistake that I choose neither. I brought my own canvas bag.

To an intimate moment with the former First Lady (played by Aunt Esther from Sanford & Son):
MICHELLE: Are you coming to bed, Barry?
THE PRESIDENT: (looks at teleprompter) In response to your question, I say that I plan to make love to you… (woooooo) Just as soon as I finish my hit off this crack pipe. (laugh track) Hey, who put that up there? (more laughs)
MICHELLE: I want to make love to you so badly. (oooooo)
THE PRESIDENT: (looks at teleprompter) Okay, but not too badly, I hope. (laugh track)

Check your local listings for showtimes. And set your DVRs for Episode 1: Barry Buys A Car, you’ll want to watch it again and again.

EDITOR’S NOTE: For the record, I thought the Special Olympic thing was probably the funniest thing I’ve ever heard Obama say, and a socialist with a sense of humor is indeed a rare thing. I suppose next we’ll be told that jokes about domestic abuse, race, or sexual orientation aren’t funny EITHER. Where will it all end?


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5 Responses to “What A Retard”

  1. Super-Duper site! I am loving it!! Will come back again – taking you feeds also, Thanks.

  2. yo mama is so fat you could use her bellybutton as a wishing well……

  3. You made some good points there. I did a search on the topic and found most people will agree with your blog.

  4. Oh my goodness!  Youre so right!  I really dont think anyones put it that way before!  You must be an expert on this because you just made it so easy to understand, made me want to learn more about it!  Do you, like, study this subject because you seem to be so in tune with the issue?  Keep it up, man.  Youve got a great mind for it!

  5. Good luck getting people behind this one.  Though you make some VERY fascinating points, youre going to have to do more than bring up a few things that may be different than what weve already heard.  What are trying to say here?  What do you want us to think?  It seems like you cant really get behind a unique thought.  Anyway, thats just my opinion.