Fitting In: A TeeShirtSoup.com Reference Guide
12. Jan, 2010 
6 Comments
You’re at a bar with a bunch of friends. One of them points to a girl and says I’d like to give her a Cinncinati Bowtie. The group erupts in laughter. You can make out your own laugh even though you have no fucking idea what your buddy is talking about. Or worse, your buddies tell you they are going to the Rusty Schooner for lunch and you burst out in a fit of uncontrollable laughter, which won’t subside even when they try to explain that the Rusty Schooner (giggle) has the best fried clam strips (giggle). Well, I took the liberty of compiling this list of oft’ heard, seldom understood sex acts to alleviate any confusion or feelings of left-out-ed-ness you may suffer.
Please note that I have not received compensation of any kind from The Rusty Schooner Seafood House for this article.
Dirty Sanchez: The list’s crown jewel, it is the act of smearing shit, using your finger or other appendage, across the upper lip of your partner during or after anal play
Blumpkin: Getting a blowjob while taking a crap. This one requires a classy broad. Or eager cellmate.
Cleveland Steamer: When one person poops on another’s chest, then sits down and rocks back and forth on it like a steamroller.
Rusty Trombone: Since I’m a guy, I’ll describe receiving one. Having your asshole licked, while getting a friendly reach-around. Your partner resembles a concert trombonist in full slide. If done right (with enthusiasm) your anus should leave a noticeable stain around your partner’s mouth, making it look like she was playing a rusty trombone.
Pittsburgh Platter: To shit on a glass table while someone watches from below.
Cinncinati Bowtie: This one requires a bigger gal, who puts her chin to her chest, and to the best of my research, you have sex with the hole created.
Angry Dragon: After you cum in your partner’s mouth, you smack her hard in the back of the head, forcing her head down and your seed out her nose. When she looks up, she looks like an angry dragon.
Angry Penguin: A woman is performing oral sex and when the guy is about to reach his climax, she stops and walks away, leaving him unsatisfied, with his pants around his ankles, chasing her like an angry penguin.
Donkey Punch: While in the throes of anal sex, you punch your partner in the back of the head causing her to tense her asshole.
Tony Danza: You are giving it to your girl from behind and you yell out, “Who’s the boss?” Typically she will reply that you are. Then you give her a Donkey Punch (see above), and remind her that Tony Danza is the boss.
And finally, the only solo act to make the list
The Stranger: Sit on your hand until it falls asleep. Masturbate and it will feel like someone else is giving you a handjob.
Please comment with any I’ve missed or with hilarious stories of you trying any of these.
I believe you omitted TEABAGGING, whereby a guy squats and drops his nutsack into the open mouth of a sleeping / passed out person. Generally, this is a guy-girl type of thing, but you frat boys may tell a slighty different story. **Safety Tip: It’s best not to ‘steep’ the bag for too long, as adverse reactions can be painful and injurious.
Thanks Anonymous. Is there a story that goes along with that you would like to share?
I’ve started looking all above for this info. Luckily I just discovered this in Google.
Robert
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