Blog War! Blog War!

I found a blog that speaks to me. It says things like, “Make fun of me. Go to war with me.”  The URL is www.cynthialdragish.blogspot.com  (Check it out.  Some of you might just like it).  Coincidentally, the author of this blog (Yes, she’s a girl. I told you) is also from the Philadelphia area. I just don’t know if I’ll achieve my main objective of getting more readers for my blog because there can’t be too many people reading hers either. I’m going to post one of her entries here. You’ll probably be able to guess which are her words and which are my comments, but I’ll put mine in bold and hers in italics just in case.  Let’s get ready to have some fun.  I think I found one that doesn’t mention lotions or cremes, but I’m not sure.

PET PEEVES

When I write my blogs, I honestly try not to complain. I’m sure I don’t always follow that rule, especially today with my new blog entitled: “Pet Peeves.” There have been certain things “irking” me lately and I wanted to share them with the e-community to see if they, too, have the same pet peeves and I am not crazy. I would also love to hear about what your “Pet Peeves” are as well. You’ll see from what I post, that it can literally be anything.

Wow, if she’s gonna break one of her rules and just throw caution to the wind and complain about things, hold on to your hat, these have got to be good.  I can’t wait to read them.

1. The new Six Flags Great Adventure commercial where it’s a guy’s head and he points out how 1 flag of fun sucks, then 6 flags is better – “More flags, more fun!” Fun would be getting this guy’s head, putting it in a circle and shooting the water pistols at it that are at most Great Adventure’s or Carnivals – you know the ones I mean. I could be more “mean,” but I’ll leave it at that for now. (What happened to the old guy?

Okay, it’s just the first one.  I mean we’ve all had a commercial or two that drove us nuts.  But to want to shoot him with a water pistol, why does she have to be so mean?  And does she realize that this would technically be a hate crime since the gentleman in the commercial who she dreams of assaulting is a very stereotypical Asian man.  Why do you hate people who are different, Cynthia? 

2. When your food on Saturday becomes leftover on Monday and the roll of the most awesome sandwich in the world has now turned to MUSH. It completely destroys the idea of actually EATING the leftovers. Bleck. (I did anyway, and yes, I regretted it. I buried the rest of the sandwich in the backyard and played God Bless America on my trumpet. The squirrels held up their lighters while the doves cried.)

Ah yes, leftovers.  Who doesn’t hate them.

3. In the middle of the night and your ear itches. You know you don’t want to stick your finger in there, but you also know you don’t want to get up and get a q-tip. So what do we do? We reach over the side of the bed to see if there’s anything remotely nearby that we won’t feel quilty about shoving in our ears to make the itch stop. Worst part is – when it doesn’t.

Okay, does this broad write the Cathy comic.  I don’t get it.

4. When a hot person has terrible breath. It’s shocking, isn’t it? They took all that time to make sure the “package” looked good, but then forgot to make sure the inside was good too.

Bad Breath, survey says…  XXX  Did she buy this post from some blog service or something.

5. When someone offers you a soda, then you drink said soda and it turns out to be water. That’s shocking too, isn’t it?

Okay, that has never happened to anyone, ever. 

6. When people point out the obvious. Like when you eat a sandwich you know you shouldn’t have eaten and your stomach lets you know in more ways than one, and someone says, “Guess you won’t eat that sandwich two days later, huh?” As a matter of fact, I will. Just to pix you off.

Do I really have to comment on all of these?

7. When you see someone that you hadn’t seen for a long time. And they forget you used to be sworn enemies, then yell your name and hug you like you’re old friends. Dude, you used to pull my bra-strap REPEATEDLY as a kid, don’t hug me. Let me pull on your jock-strap, how do you like that?

First, since when did pulling a bra strap constitute sworn enemies?  And the whole jock strap thing, she’s a real eye for an eye kinda gal.  It’s amazing she didn’t vent in her blog before.  She’s a natural.

8. When you pour a bowl of cereal only to look in the fridge and find that someone else finished off the rest of the milk.  Oooh, I shudder at that one. I love my frosted flakes.

How many times does this have to happen before you check the milk before you even get the cereal out.  And do yourself a favor, smell it first, because believe me bad milk is way worse than no milk.

9. When you finally have that chance to see that movie, except it’s no longer in the theaters. (But then it’s out on DVD 3 weeks later, and it makes up for lost time.) (Side note, I love this home movie theater- something that is a HUGE dream of mine to have one day).

I’m not sure what she’s getting at here.  Is she complaining that movies aren’t in the theaters as long as they used to be?  Or that home theater systems are expensive?  Or that she doesn’t like the convenience of movies coming out on DVDs much more quickly than the year and a half it used to take.

10. And finally, last but not least, and none of these are in particular order, my tenth pet peeve. When you tape something on your DVR, and play it later on only to find out that the station didn’t actually play what you thought you were recording. For instance, I taped King of the Hill, pressed play, and a documentary about long haired dogs recorded instead. I buried my remote in the backyard too. Only the long haired dogs came out to hold up lighters this time though. And they howled at Comcast.

I don’t normally post complaining thoughts, but I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my inner world. Ciao for now comrades.

Ah yes, we enjoyed it thoroughly.  I’ll admit if I thought I was recording (not taping) something and it recorded something else I would be pissed too.  But what’s with the burying things and animals holding up lighters, Comrade?  

I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t wait to read more of her posts.

Just to illustrate the difference between Cynthia and myself, here are a few of my pet peeves.  They are also in no particular order, but I will number them as if they were:

1.  The sign outside the DMV that reads, “PARKING LIMIT 30 MINUTES”

2.  Nuns with big boobs.  Why?  (Oh no, the devout chipmunks have just buried their rosary beads in my backyard and are holding up candles from their advent wreaths)

3.  When you just get out of the shower and you have to take a crap, and it’s one of those ones where you know you should get back into the shower the second you are done, but you’re already running late for work.

4.  When Chris Hanson answers the door instead of the hot 13 year old you were expecting.  (You decide if it’s a boy or a girl; I’m not gonna do all your work for you.)

5.  When you try to buy a pet and the store insists on calling it an adoption.  I get it, it’s not my pet by blood.  What age do you think would be a good age to tell my cat he’s adopted?  Seriously, I think it diminishes the idea of human adoption when you ascribe it to a parrot or goldfish, but maybe that’s just me.

6.  Local newscasters who think they are celebrities when they are out in public.  You’re not Paul Newman, asshole.

7.  Pedestrians who show absolutely NO freaking hustle when they cross in front of me, and don’t acknowledge the fact that I could have hit them but didn’t.  I mean is a ‘thank you” wave to much to ask?

8.  Renaissance Faire People!

That’s all I could come up with for now, but who knows maybe I’ll make PET PEEVES a regular part of my blog.  Although I usually don’t like to complain about things either.

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10 Responses to “Blog War! Blog War!”

  1. Hey you! Okay, okay, I’ll admit, my “pet peeves” are definitely harmless when it comes to some better ideas for pet peeves, but this is my first shot. I have to admit, it was fun! Reading your comments about them though, was even better!!! Then reading your pet peeves just cracked me up, and I definitely have more meat for my own. I agree with just about all of yours save one or two, and I don’t want to copycat commenting on all of yours (unless you don’t mind) (oh yea, couldn’t help but think those chipmunks holding up candles and my dogs holding up lighters should get together) but not “all” Renaissance Faire people are weird;) Not all, at least, hehe. Mainly the ones who work there. And oh yea, the “adoption” of an animal has got to be the WORST at the SPCA. I realize the importance of finding a good home, but if I’m paying $75 at the SPCA for an animal I will most likely take good care of it. They’re prejudiced against people who rent too. Argh! Thanks for the comments, thoughts, and jokes, this was awesome. I’ll give you some better peeves next time, I promise. (Oh yea, I’m typically a pretty optimistic person which is why the whole pet peeves thing felt abnormal to me, but I’m getting the hang of it.) Peace – Cindy

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