Okay, two things.

First:  Yes there did used to be a Music Friday on here.  It’s right here.  And second:  Yes, Soupy’s Spotlight is yet another series on here that I will probably forget about in the very near future.  Thanks, ADD. 

In the meantime, I figured I would use a couple posts a month to highlight some of the “stuff” that kind of flies into my radar.  Maybe it’s a new blog I “discovered,” or a podcast, a twitter account, a video maker, a comic, a musician.  Whatever.  I may highlight someone who already enjoys some modicum of celebrity, but more often not.

Anyway, here’s some music I came across this week.  And yea, I know the first two have views numbering in the multi-millions, and the kids have their own record contracts now.  What can I say, I wanted to make sure they were the real deal  And I’m busy.  Fuck.  Consider the third one a gift.  Enjoy.

PS  When those girls get up and go back to class, you might want to look for a wet spot around Tierra del Fuego.

He’s got 99 problems, and an itch ain’t one.  Okay, yes it is.  And don’t be afraid of  ’im.  ‘es ‘armless.

I was introduced to this audio a while ago thanks to  The Opie and Anthony Show, and it has resonated in my ears and brain ever since.  I didn’t know any of the back story regarding Dan Deacon until today when I was researching (I ususally like to wait for a video to have nearly 10 million views before I weigh in) it for this post, so I just took for granted that it was some guy tripping his ass off.  I guarantee I sounded like that the couple three times I ate the  ‘shrooms.  Hell I sound like that when i forget to take my Adderall.  So I have a tough time deciding which story to believe.

You be the judge.

I love how the kid looks in his glove to see what happened. Unbelievable. Now, here’s an example of how a father and baseball fan should act:

Damn, even the video quality is better.

EDITOR’S NOTE:  I guess it is only fair that I point out that within hours of posting this, I became aware of a video of a kid, and I mean a little kid, sipping on a beer bottle in an official Phillies jersey at Citzen’s Bank Park, home of the 2008 World Series Champs.  I, for one, would bet my blog that he picked up his dad’s empty bottle and was simply playing with it, but it does at least bear mentioning.

Enjoy Mr. Hopper in one of my favorite scenes while I continue to mourn for selfish reasons.

If I ever get into a medieval style battle with a dead pig, five pieces of cardboard wearing chain mail, a water-filled steel barrel, a raw chicken, four inches of rope, a stalk of bamboo, balsa wood bunnies, or any unarmed inanimate object, I totally hope I am armed with a Cold Steel Two-Handed Great Sword, or War Hammer, or any of their bladed weaponry.

The weapons of choice for the (not yet on our collective radar) Renaissance Faire Slasher, and ideal for reenactments of up-close-and-personal battles of days gone by or a TLC show, these swords scream, “I brought a knife to a gunfight,” in today’s less intimate, I-don’t-want-blood-on-my-ivy-league-suit, impersonal world. 

But, why would I keep talking when I can show you these fine products in the hands of a True Warrior:

“There’s like 7 or 8 cardboard boxes backing this thing up, and I crushed probably 4 or 5 of them into nothingness.”

Inquisitive Boy: Mr. Owl, how many whacks with the Indian War Club does it take to smash a single pallet?
Owl: 25.

I apologize to others like myself afflicted with the ADD for the length of this next video, but it held my attention most of the time.

(Hilarious comment from YouTube page I had to share: Sire, the balloon army approacheth!”)

For more sword porn goodness, check out CSKnives on YouTube.

I’ll get the comment ball rolling: Forget the banana, this kid’s gonna be singing into penises inside of six months.

Now it’s your turn. Comment below. Now.

With spring right around the corner, and the kids itching to get out and play, I am thankful for all of the Youth Sports options available today.  But I fear that the coaches, despite their best efforts, have a difficult time competing with the highlight reels on ESPN, when trying to teach our kids “the fundamentals.”

Wouldn’t it be great to know that the instructional videos of famed YouTube Sports anchor, Kige Ramsey were all in one place.  Well now they are.

And now for the latest addition to Mr. Ramsey’s collection:

* Remember, these videos are not a replacement for real, hands-on training, and are merely meant to complement your, and your children’s coaches’ efforts.

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If you are looking for inspiring moments in sports like the USA Olympic Hockey Team beating the Russians, or Tug McGraw recording the last out in the 1980 World Series, or Rocky Balboa defeating Apollo Creed (or Clubber Lang, or Thunderlips, or Ivan Drago, or Tommy Gunn) you might want to look elsewhere.  But if you enjoy people  embarrassing themselves, or moments of real frustration, then scroll down.  These are for you.

And the #1 Video is…

No longer available due to a copyright claim by MLB Advanced Media.

So here’s a re-enactment

Comment below with your favorites that I missed!

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RANDOM GUY:  Hey I want you to meet someone.  He can sing, dance, he’s a really good golfer, can bang just about any girl he wants to, and he’s funny as shit.
ME: Sounds like a dick. I hate him already.
RANDOM GUY: It’s Justin Timberlake.
ME: Justin Timberlake? Why didn’t you say so? I love Justin Timberlake.

In every Hollywood generation (which are more compressed than our outside-Hollywood generations) there comes a guy who is equally popular among guys and their girlfriends, wives, whatever.  I guess it started even before Humphrey Bogart, then you have James Dean, Paul Newman, Jim Morrison, Vince Vaughn (the thinner Mr. Vaughn for the ladies), Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp to a slightly lesser degree, and now there is Justin Timberlake.  They are all classically handsome guys, yet there is something about these guys that is not as threatening to the male ego as, say Robert Pattinson (could someone please explain this one to me).

So what is it about these guys, and others that I’m sure I’ve forgotten, that speaks to men as well as women? 

Simple.  They act like guys.  Bogey’s got no problem keeping his broad in line with a quick slap to the face or to lead her drunk-ass out of a party with a well placed goon-hand.  James Dean, who even had a guy write a song about him (unless the song was about Jimmy Dean, the sausage king), was able to show a tough vulnerability that we all know would help us get laid if we could pull it off.  And he was just plain cool; hell so were Newman and Morrison.

In the modern era, a guy’s popularity among other men seems to be more a product of his sense of humor.  Vince Vaughn (I’ll throw Alec Baldwin in the mix, although the voicemail he left his daughter may have lost him some of his female audience) and JT are funny (funny like us or our friends), and most importantly, they have a sense of humor about themselves.  Unlike many of the celebrities we’re subjected to, they don’t seem to take themselves seriously at all.  They look like they’re having fun, and that’s what we think being famous should be all about.

My spider senses are tingling. Why do I get the impression that this is not the first unwanted pink dangly thing that has been pushed in this girl’s face? I assume she’s screaming so blood-curdlingly because she doesn’t understand why it’s not still attached to her uncle (the one with the razor stubble and Jack Daniels breath).

At least her uncle would have known that “Touch it, don’t be a wuss,” while it works with the boys, is not the most effective approach to take with a four year old girl. You have to start with things like “It will make you feel good,” or “All the big girls are doing it, I thought you wanted to be a big girl.”

I was such a huge Kiss fan when I was growing up, so much so I remember exactly where I was when I settled in with a bowl of Jiffy Pop popcorn to watch Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park in 1978. I also remember thinking it was just about the coolest movie I ever saw (with the exception of Star Wars that is). Hell, I even made my parents sit through the horrible TV movie. I hadn’t thought about it since, and I can see why. It is so bad, I got angry watching the clip above.

Anyway, I started thinking about other things I thought were cool that I was sadly mistaken about. At the top of that list would be a pair of Jaws tube socks. They were pretty much the famous Jaws movie poster on a pair of socks, exactly as cool as it sounds. Was there anything that you thought was so “boss” until you saw the picture years later? Or better yet, one of your friends pointed out your faux pas in real time?

Once I got past the sheer hilarity of the seriousness with which he imparts his advice, and the absurdity with which he throws, I was left with an empty feeling in my stomach.

Kige doesn’t have anybody to throw to. He’s gotta turn off the camera, then go chase after the ball he just threw. And if he fucked up his line, who knows how many times he would have to do that.

Watching these videos in that light brought me back to my childhood and I started thinking about all the Aw-you-don’t-have-any-friends-toys my parents bought for me. I’m sure you all remember the Pitch-back, you didn’t need anyone else to play with — you could just play with yourself.

The Christmas after I got a Pitch-back, I got a Mr. Quarterback passing machine, so I could just lay the ball in its cradle arm, cock it back, select a pattern, set the timer, and go out for a pass. If I kept running until that fucking thing threw the ball, I’d still be running. It worked about as well as the Joe Namath electric football game I had. And on more than one occasion, I brought my baseball mitt to the batting cages. There’s nothing like paying to play catch.

Hell I’m convinced I lettered in bowling (yes, you read that correctly) because there was a mechanism that brought the ball back to me.

Your favorite (and not so favorite) world leaders of the past and present have gathered together for two purposes:  To entertain you, and to become the next World Leader Idol! 

Polls open after the last performance.  Please comment with your vote.