Tee Shirt Soup

How much money would it take for you to drop your child’s molestation case?  If you’re like me there is no amount that would make you give up.  You’d wanna see that bastard fry or get raped in jail.  Something. Michael Jackson didn’t settle with those parents out of guilt, in fact he isn’t the [...]

Today, Little People have asked for an FCC ban on the word “midget,” likening it to a racial slur. Okay, I get it, but remember Little People come in many different styles.  Let’s just say the Little People rainbow has many colors. Are each of those groups now signing away their right to get even [...]

The American Idol final pairing has been set, and now the winner seems more obvious than ever.  Despite all of the AI producers’ and judges’ efforts to force us to see Adam Glam-bert as some sort of rock god rather than the Liza Minelli-esque diva we’ve watched prance around stage lo these many weeks (many, many [...]

1. Aaliyah 2. John Ritter 3. Gene Siskel 4. Princess Diana 5. Kurt Cobain 6. Lee Majors 7. Pope John Paul II I don’t know what happens when a famous person dies. Time seems to pass at the same pace for the rest of us trudging through our daily lives, yet for them time seems [...]

Okay, I’d say the PR firm that handles Craig’s List has been working overtime lately, huh?  First off, I think we all know it’s the best place to find a prostitute when you’re visiting a new city (or just relaxing at home), and now we have the Craig’s List Killer.  I don’t care how successful [...]

I might be a little late on this post.  I usually notice this sentiment on Valentine’s Day cards (or should I say Love Day cards, you know to avoid any religious overtones since it was once SAINT Valentine’s Day), but I have felt it with Anniversary cards as well. So many cards written from a husband [...]

This is a true story.  Seriously, look it up.  In fact, here is the LA Times version: UC San Diego — a school for the smart ones, supposedly — mistakenly congratulated nearly 29,000 applicants on their acceptance, according to university officials. Earlier this month, about 17,000 students were offered admission for the fall, leaving nearly 29,000 [...]

I was watching American Idol last night, and I just have one question: What the fuck is the blind guy waving at everytime he’s led across the stage? Seriously, it happens every time. While I agree that may have been a bit insensitive, I’m not the one who thought it would be a good idea [...]

  Yesterday the Global War on Terror ended (well it was rebranded anyway), and we are now engaged in the Overseas Contingency Operation.  It’s a softer name, and certainly less offensive to those who espouse “terror” as a governing principle, but it doesn’t change anything.  It doesn’t change the fact that we still have brave [...]

Why are there no Winter Special Olympics? Why, every four years, does Bob Costas not come on my TV and welcome me to the Winter Games of the 25th Special Olympiad? Am I the only one who wants to see Special Pairs Skating, or hear a Special Olympian screaming his way down the luge course? I [...]

Here’s a real thinker for ya… Does each generation get better looking (generally speaking) than the generation before it? Or do the changes in prevailing clothing and hair styles make comparisons impossible. I for one, am finding it increasingly difficult masturbating to women in the old black and white silent movies of the thirties, even [...]