Tee Shirt Soup

  Okay, I actually only saw about half of the first movie. That’s when I realized it was just a further example of the pussification of the American vampire, and walked out in protest. It wasn’t really much of a protest since I only walked out of my wife’s cousin’s living room, but the people [...]

It’s okay, I’m allowed to write that. I’m Italian. Share  (‘’)

This past Sunday, after the Superbowl, Undercover Boss premiered with a 20.3/33 rating.  That means 33% of people didn’t change the channel after the game, and I honestly have no idea what the first number means, but it’s pretty good.  Larry O’Donnell, President and COO of Waste Management, goes “under cover” in a variety of [...]

Even I’m not safe from my microscope of sarcasm, cynicism, and truth.  I don’t really know what the hell’s the matter with me lately, my emotions are bubbling very close to the surface.  I think I actually may have cried at every episode of American Idol this year.  Movies and songs are “affecting me” more [...]

I know I shouldn’t be giving this shit away for free, but I had a winning TV show idea that I just had to share.  It’s about a bartender. Maybe he’s the best bartender in town or maybe he just knows in his heart that he’s been chosen for something special.  Something big.  Bigger than a bartender even.  [...]

This just in…  Hollywood moving to West Virginia. In the wake of Mackenzie Phillips’ claims of consensual incest with her father, David Hasselhoff (Don’t Hassel the Hoff) decided to bring his 17 year old daughter to the local (and very trendy) Coco de Meraccording, a sex shoppe in West Hollywood. Let the speculation begin. Maybe he [...]

Revision: Okay, an actress, a late night talkshow sidekick, the King of Pop, an infomercial pitchman and a gay gameshow icon walk into a bar… Paul Lynde is trying to dive into the celebrity death pool now? Give me a break! Please move my remaining chips to Wink Martindale immediately. Haha, okay this is the point in the post [...]

An actress, a late-night talkshow sidekick, and the King of Pop are standing outside the Pearly Gates. ACTRESS: I was an original Angel, so I get in automatically, right? The KOP: Where do you keep the children? I love children. The LNTS: (bellows) Ho ho! He loves children! Hey-oh! ACTRESS: My ass still hurts. Should [...]