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The Return Of Conspiracy Theory Friday (I swear I started writing this on Friday)

I hear that doctors are hard at work trying to resurrect the guy who flew his plane into the IRS building in Texas so he can deliver a formal televised apology. I honestly don’t know the guy’s name, and I’m not gonna bother looking it up.  It doesn’t really matter, and the point is that he [...]

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Obama’s Trillions

As I was trying to keep this blog a-political (this post is actually aimed at Obama the Celebrity, not Obama the President) a thought occurred to me. Maybe our President stands to inherit $300 trillion for our country, but he must first spend $30 trillion in 30 days and have absolutely nothing to show for [...]

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A Letter From An American

This is a letter that was sent to the Glenn Beck Show from a woman in Phoenix, AZ (why the hell did I ever move from there?). I think a lot of us can relate, whether we call ourselves Democrats or Republicans. It is an open letter to our nation’s leadership: I’m a home grown [...]

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Magic-Bullet-Theory-Comin’-Up-With-Benedict-Arnold-Mother-F’er

So Arlen Specter shed his red tie in favor of a blue one today.  No biggie.  People are saying it’s so he has a better chance to win re-election.  That’s like saying your buddy came out and said he was gay so he could suck more dick and maybe get fucked in the ass.  Hello, exactly. [...]

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So The First Jackass Said… Then The Second Jackass Said…

Jeff, I know the hair on your arms is standing up right now. It is so entertaining to hear two pseudo-intellectuals weigh in on the Tax Day Tea Parties. Look, I don’t know how many people across the country attended the rallies, but I imagine it is somewhere between what the right and the left [...]

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What A Retard

Wow Barack! Special Olypics, huh? (Good thing your disdain for the handicapped didn’t come out during the campaign or Sarah Palin would have ripped you a new asshole) I guess you’ve been spending too much time with the Joe “the gaffe-meister” Biden? And it looks like you left your teleprompter back in Washington, huh? I [...]

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An Elephant In Donkey’s Clothing

About a year ago, I posed this question to myself:  How in the hell is a Republican going to win the Presidential Election? The answer came to me yesterday:  By posing as a very very liberal Democrat. Okay, disregard every bad thing I said about our President Elect, the Honorable Barack H. Obama.  And for [...]

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‘Tis The Season

It’s that time of year again, time for almost-educated, ill-informed people to misinterpret the Constitution (yet again) and file complaints about hateful nativity scenes around town. It’s becoming as much of a tradition as egg-nog, kissing under the mistletoe and doing bumpers of coke late night, Christmas Eve (C’mon, what did you think Perry Como meant when [...]

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Just Try To Get A Table At Red Lobster Tonight

ALTERNATE TITLE: I’M NOT SAYIN’… I’M JUST SAYIN’ Wait… what, you’re not a politician? This next video is eerily similar to parts of my reaction, especially at the beginning. I guess I need to get this out of the way, Congratulations to President Elect Barack Obama. I ventured out from my office at lunch time [...]

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Election Day

Ah, Democracy and the smooth transition of power every 4 years. Much better than a bloody revolution. And in my city, awesome! Where have you gone unbiased journalists? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you. I guess the left has all the network news stations, and the right has camera phones. That’s about right.

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Barack in the U.S.S.A.

ALT. TITLE: A Maverick, a Hockey-Mom, a Jackass and the Messiah walk into a bar… Ah, here we stand on the precipice of history. Either we get our first female Vice President, who sadly John McCain cannot even raise the roof for, or Barack H. Obama becomes the first President of the U.S.S.A. (for the [...]

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No Way Out

Does anybody remember a little film from 1987 called No Way Out? It starred Kevin Costner, Gene Hackman and a pre “cat-shit nuts” Sean Young.  For those of you who don’t know it, Sean Young is accidentally killed by Secretary of Defense David Brice, played by Hackman.  She was having an affair with him as [...]

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Kenya Find Your Birth Certificate, Barack?

Here is a column from a local paper here on Philadelphia, The Bulletin.  I will reserve my comments til the end because I want everyone to read it with no preconceptions (except for those produced by my incredibly clever title for this post).  Thanks Jeff, for showing me this. 10/27/2008 My Mother’s Birth Certificate – And [...]

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Obama’s Tongue’s Like A Bull In A China Shop

Put the “Lipstick on a pig” comment aside for a moment. What the hell happened to the great orator B.H.O. If G.W. Bush stumbled like that over a prepared statement, he would have been crucified. Now for the comment. I think the Obama camp just out-clevered themselves on this one. They found a way to [...]

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DNC Wraps Up

Okay here we go, I’m just gonna come out and say it. I think Obama did a hell of a job last night. His speech was well crafted and he delivered it expertly. It didn’t come off especially slick or anything. Everything just seemed to work, from the speech to the spectacle. Even the “Barackopolis” [...]

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