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To All My Bitches Out There

Man, I hope every guy in that band’s dick fell off after they recorded that video. My penis hurt just watching it, and I could care less if the lead singer gets his boyfriend back or not.   But that’s not why I posted it here. For some reason that song was stuck in my head [...]

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You’ve Got Potential

As someone who’s always counted his chickens before they’ve hatched, I decided it would be smarter to start selling eggs. The days of starting a business, and growing it into something that will support you and your family are over.  That’s the way your father did it, or your grandfather (or immigrants); they worked hard and were compensated [...]

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On Our Way

I always thought the quote, “…money is the root of all evil” came from some jealous sour-grapes mofo who simply didn’t have the downpayment on happiness. And maybe it is. You know those movies like Mad Max, 12 Monkeys, and even Back to the Future 2 with its alternate 1988? Movies that have a less [...]

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A Letter From An American

This is a letter that was sent to the Glenn Beck Show from a woman in Phoenix, AZ (why the hell did I ever move from there?). I think a lot of us can relate, whether we call ourselves Democrats or Republicans. It is an open letter to our nation’s leadership: I’m a home grown [...]

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Don’t Push Me ‘Cause I’m Close To The Edge

I’m not a motivational speaker.  I’m certainly no life coach.  I’m not particularly observant or sensitive to the human condition.  I’ve just made my share of bad decisions in my life, and I think I at least have a partial answer to the question, “Why?” It’s all about pace.  We all have an internal clock [...]

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No One Born After 1992 In America Gets Into Heaven. Sorry.

I’m sure you’ve all pretty much come to the conclusion by now that I am a very spiritual guy.  I think last week’s posts go a long way to proving that.  I was out of town for a wedding this past weekend (great time with the SpaceFamily et al, although SpaceGal had some sort of [...]

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Black Black Friday

I’ve decided to not mention that my tee shirt designs are “Coming Soon!,” nor will I hype the arrival of said designs in any way if it helps to save even one person from being trampled when I do finally unveil my e-storefront.  Instead my tee shirts will appear with (I’m sure) very little fanfare, no [...]

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“33″

Okay this is going to sound weird. I was sitting at Easter services in 2004, and the pastor was reading some pieces of scripture surrounding Jesus’ resurrection. He mentioned something about the rock being rolled away from Jesus’ tomb, and I had a vision of a Rolling Rock bottle. It was as clear as if [...]

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Purpose Driven Life

Wouldn’t it suck to find out that your whole purpose here on Earth was to become friends with some asshole you met at a frat party in 1991, so that he could marry another acquaintence of yours like 8 years later only to have two kids and get divorced 4 years after that, and the [...]

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Gaze Into My Crystal Balls – Peering Into The Future & My Brush With Time Travel

Let me start by saying I’m not trying to start a religion, a cult or even a movement.  Well maybe a movement, but not the other two (which is a shame because there is a lot of money in them).  But I think I’ve come up with a way to see into the future.  My [...]

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This Is Why

Have you ever wondered why it took so long for mainstream America to get on board with seemingly important environmental issues?  Wonder why “normal” people still haven’t completely bought in to the whole global warming thing? Wonder no longer. Emotional Hippies – Crying Over Dead Trees – Watch more free videos  Haha, the first woman [...]

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I Have A Dream

Here’s a question that seems pretty simple on the surface: Which would be a greater stride in the Civil Rights Movement:  a President Obama or a Hurricane Shamiqua? Admittedly, electing a black president would certainly be a huge step in the pursuit of racial equality, but until we have a Hurricane LaShondra, Malik, or De’Andre, it only illustrates [...]

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Can I Get A Scorecard?

Ever since I was threatened with excommunication by my eight grade religion teacher (which is a story for another blog), I have been fascinated with organized religion especially catholicism.  I was baptized catholic and spent 20 years in catholic school (counting the eight years I spent in college), yet I can’t seem to wrap my [...]

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What Time Is Too Late To Call Someone At Home, And Other First Amendment Issues

I’ll admit it is not one of the burning questions facing our civilization, yet it led to one of the biggest fights between me and my sister.  I was not unused to my phone ringing at quarter after ten, and the voice on the other end of the line (my sister’s usually) would ask me [...]

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Repent! The End Is Near

Okay I believe in God, and I believe that if I was indeed created in His image then He has a tremendous sense of irony, and that amageddon will be more ironic than fiery or floody.  Yes, the end of the world will come much less tempestuously than that, and it will be at our hands (literally) [...]

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