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Fixing Soccer

Fixing Soccer

While our nation seems to succumb to just about every global influence and convention that comes down the pike, we have somehow managed to remain steadfast in our general disinterest in the sport of soccer. Every year, be it an Olympic year or a men’s or women’s World Cup year, I hear that this will be the year that soccer with take root in America, and we will be swept up in its pageantry. And every year I laugh. I laugh the laugh of someone who 30-some years ago was told that I needed to learn the metric system, because everything would be converted by the end of the year. And with the exception of 2-liter bottles of soda, and the drug dealers, America stood her ground.

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Penny Lover

Penny Lover

Just about every morning I stop at a local convenience store (I suppose the fact that it is local adds to its inherent convenience, but I digress), and all too often my purchases have totaled $1.99, or $2.49 or whatever, and I generally hand the cashier $2.00 or $2.50 respectively. You get the idea. And these transactions have been causing me more and more anxiety as well as a feeling of what can only be described as general uneasiness.

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Soupy’s Spotlight – Eli Braden

Soupy’s Spotlight – Eli Braden

His hilarious musical stylings have been featured numerous times on The Howard Stern Show, and have garnered him a regular spot on Web Soup on the G4 network. And I think we all know how I feel about things with Soup in the title. But hey, enough of my yappin’ (I gotta believe my horrible introductions are the main reason I’m not a successful opening act). Ladies and gentlemen, Eli Braden…

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From Soup-erman To Clark Kan’t

From Soup-erman To Clark Kan’t

… But my eyes, my vision… that would make a much more suitable power. I could see things, things off in the distance. I could make people trip by staring at them hard enough. This had an effective rate of about 1 in 20 times, so it seemed pretty effective to me. I could make traffic lights change within about 2 to 3 minutes of staring at them correctly. I was a regular cape-wearing, mother-fucking, bad-ass super hero.

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Soupy’s Spotlight – Jay Larson

Soupy’s Spotlight – Jay Larson

Comedian, Jay Larson taps into some of those childhood fears that have somehow stuck with us in his Comedy Central Presents special which is OnDemand this month on Verizon Fios. Hailing from Stoneham, Mass., Jay mixes his wildly imaginitive streak with some keen observations to provide material with definite mass appeal. I laughed hysterically during his half-hour special, and look forward to seeing the next one. To me it was more than a stand-up act – it was a performance.

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Music Friday Again?  Already?

Music Friday Again? Already?

Sometimes the best way to get something out of your head is to put it in someone else’s. Consider this a musical chain letter. Sorry.

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Guest Post – Meet Brian From Studio PCK

Guest Post – Meet Brian From Studio PCK

It’s a wonderful thing when your kids have other kids to play with that live as close as next door or across the street. But it’s even better when those other kids’ parents are people that you enjoy hanging out with too. And pretty fucking rare.

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RIP – Mike DeStefano

RIP – Mike DeStefano

Comedian Mike DeStefano passed away yesterday at the age of 44, reportedly suffering a heart attack. Mike was a finalist on last season’s Last Comic Standing, and he was just an honest and funny guy. And one hell of a story teller. Mike appeared regularly on the Opie & Anthony Show. He will be missed.

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Soupy’s Spotlight – Ramzy Sweis

Soupy’s Spotlight – Ramzy Sweis

* Open Mic Nite *

I’m not beyond giving people credit for “getting up there.” I tried it. The first time was simutaneously exhilirating and nerve-wracking, and I don’t remember a second of it. The second time was torture. And I’m funny.

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Just Make Sure You Spell My Name Right

Just Make Sure You Spell My Name Right

I’ve been shamefacedly following the story of Natalie Monroe, the suburban Philadelphia teacher/blogger with a shitload of fun stuff to say about her students. What can I say, it’s gossip-y, she’s a blogger, and she pokes fun of “special” kids. This one is so up my alley that it reinforces my suspicion that I am living the Truman Show.

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“A Declaration of the Independence of Cyberspace” by John Perry Barlow

“A Declaration of the Independence of Cyberspace” by John Perry Barlow

No one really cares where I found this, but suffice it to say that I came across it today, 15 years to the day after it was written, or more accurately typed, by Mr. John Perry Barlow. Its truth resonates with me as both a writer and a reader, and I am thankful that this Man of Ideas has taken up this fight.

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A Soupy Sexpose – Gentleman’s Club vs. Male Revue

A Soupy Sexpose – Gentleman’s Club vs. Male Revue

Maybe it’s because they only go to strip clubs like twice (maybe three times) in their lifetime, that we husbands (boyfriends, lesbian life partners) usually greet their, “I have to go to the strip club for So-and-so’s bachelorette party (the lady in the cubicle next to mine’s retirement party, et al.),” with a disinterested “Have a good time.”

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It’s Like They’ve Been Together For A Million Years

It’s Like They’ve Been Together For A Million Years

As the writer of every post and even some of the comments on this site, and probably the only person to have read every article here (I’d actually be scared if that second part weren’t true), I know there are two things that readers of this site have in common: None of us quite understand how a woman thinks, and we are all harboring some vestige of a crush on an ’80s television star. What if I told you I found a site that satisfies both of those things?

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Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays!

For maximum sympathetic douche chill, click the card above to enlarge. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all! Soupy

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The Dan Band

The Dan Band

You know them from The Hangover. You loved them in Old School. Ladies and Gentleman, The Dan Band.

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