Archive | July, 2009

Another Short Story from Soupy’s Vault

Self-indulgent? Maybe, but I really wanted to post something today and since no one else will publish my fiction I thought I would. Besides the beginning of this story cracks me up. Constructive criticism is as welcome as just flat out praise. There are certain parts of the story I am proud of, others that [...]

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CANNONS To My Left…

Douchebags to my right. Actually, I am beset on all sides with laughable douchebaggery, and if there’s one thing I love to do it’s point at other people and laugh at them.  So here are some examples: 1.  People who link their sexual prowess to their choice of career, and then feel the need to [...]

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Racism Czar Sworn In In Secret Ceremony

WASHINGTON D.C. – In light of the recent events in Cambridge, Massachusetts, the time just seemed right for installing a new Czar; one that would monitor and rule on all issues of race.  His/her identity, and most importantly race, will be kept hidden so that they are able to perform their job without prejudice.  So don’t [...]

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Dorks In The Dark

Am I the only one watching the show, Dating In The Dark ?  (aside from my wife that is)  This train wreck of a show puts three men and three women in a house where they ”date” without ever getting to see each other.  Each man has a compatibility match among the women, and then there [...]

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Can-Do

Can-Do

My truck, a nine year old Ford Explorer, was stocked with all the empty plastic bags I would need and half a box of latex gloves.  I snuck out the back door of my office, off to the park for my latest lunch ritual. I guess I should mention that it is late summer 2002.  [...]

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TeeShirtSoup.com EXCLUSIVE: Look Who I Ran Into On The Beach

I was walking along the southern New Jersey coast when I noticed a newly acquired ”friend” a few beach umbrellas away. My elation at spotting him quickly evaporated the moment he spoke as I should have known it would. Pat Barringer was lying on an oversized towel, holding court with what looked like a few of his friends. [...]

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Naughty By Nature? Part Deux (that’s gay for two)

Last night I was discussing my last post with a friend, and we actually stumbled upon a real answer to the question of whether people are born gay or not. It is actually so simple I’m surprised no one’s brought it up before. I think we can all agree that there is definitely a gay [...]

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Naughty By Nature?

fOr years man has wrestled with the questiOn Of whether peOple are bOrn gay, Or it’s a chOice. i have fOund a test that will settle this argument Once and fOr all. if all the O’s in this pOst appear tO be capitalized then yOu were bOrn gay… Or yOu chOse tO be gay. damn, [...]

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The Final Word On Michael Jackson

How much money would it take for you to drop your child’s molestation case?  If you’re like me there is no amount that would make you give up.  You’d wanna see that bastard fry or get raped in jail.  Something. Michael Jackson didn’t settle with those parents out of guilt, in fact he isn’t the [...]

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Somewhere Under The Rainbow

Today, Little People have asked for an FCC ban on the word “midget,” likening it to a racial slur. Okay, I get it, but remember Little People come in many different styles.  Let’s just say the Little People rainbow has many colors. Are each of those groups now signing away their right to get even [...]

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Obama’s Trillions

As I was trying to keep this blog a-political (this post is actually aimed at Obama the Celebrity, not Obama the President) a thought occurred to me. Maybe our President stands to inherit $300 trillion for our country, but he must first spend $30 trillion in 30 days and have absolutely nothing to show for [...]

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TeeShirtSoup.com EXCLUSIVE: My Interview With The Second Pregnant Man

Meet Pat Barringer. Some out there will call him the “Second Pregnant Man,” I prefer to call him the first. He actually refuses to get a blood test to confirm his condition, but that stubbornness alone reveals a masulinity not shown by the first gestating gent. He has agreed to speak only with TeeShirtSoup for [...]

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I’ll Take Paul Lynde In The Center Square For The C*ck Block

Revision: Okay, an actress, a late night talkshow sidekick, the King of Pop, an infomercial pitchman and a gay gameshow icon walk into a bar… Paul Lynde is trying to dive into the celebrity death pool now? Give me a break! Please move my remaining chips to Wink Martindale immediately. Haha, okay this is the point in the post [...]

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