Archive | June, 2009

Look Who’s Number 3 On Google

I am honored to ever be on the first page of Google, but to be number three on such a huge news day as today, my buttons are busting. Sure I used pretty specific search terms, but even so I couldn’t be more proud to rank # 3 for the search, “Farrah Fawcett Balloon Knot” [...]

Read more

Farrah Who?

An actress, a late-night talkshow sidekick, and the King of Pop are standing outside the Pearly Gates. ACTRESS: I was an original Angel, so I get in automatically, right? The KOP: Where do you keep the children? I love children. The LNTS: (bellows) Ho ho! He loves children! Hey-oh! ACTRESS: My ass still hurts. Should [...]

Read more

On Our Way

I always thought the quote, “…money is the root of all evil” came from some jealous sour-grapes mofo who simply didn’t have the downpayment on happiness. And maybe it is. You know those movies like Mad Max, 12 Monkeys, and even Back to the Future 2 with its alternate 1988? Movies that have a less [...]

Read more

Future Stripper. Thanks Mom.

My spider senses are tingling. Why do I get the impression that this is not the first unwanted pink dangly thing that has been pushed in this girl’s face? I assume she’s screaming so blood-curdlingly because she doesn’t understand why it’s not still attached to her uncle (the one with the razor stubble and Jack [...]

Read more

A Letter From An American

This is a letter that was sent to the Glenn Beck Show from a woman in Phoenix, AZ (why the hell did I ever move from there?). I think a lot of us can relate, whether we call ourselves Democrats or Republicans. It is an open letter to our nation’s leadership: I’m a home grown [...]

Read more

City Hall – Tenacious D

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Read more Presents: Is That Gay?

Just like all the other entries that I hype as potential recurring features on the site, I know despite my best intentions I will completely forget about this theme in about a week or so.  What can I say, ADD’s a bitch.  Okay, on with the post…  I am thinking about taking pictures of all my cell phone contacts [...]

Read more

The Return Of Conspiracy Theory Friday

Bear with me, this one’s a little all over the place.  I guess it’s more conspiracy brainstorming session than a true theory, but its strength and credibility lie in its scattered-ness. I was thinking this morning about the Clinton Brothers, namely Bill not so much Hillary, and I was wondering why we haven’t heard too [...]

Read more

How’d You Break Your Ankle, Mr. Anderson?

Samson had his hair, and apparently I have my ankle. Any creative thought I had has left me and it all goes back to the day I broke my ankle. Apparently the pain in my right ankle has activated the left side of my brain and shorted out the right. So now I feel this [...]

Read more

Too Cool For School

I was such a huge Kiss fan when I was growing up, so much so I remember exactly where I was when I settled in with a bowl of Jiffy Pop popcorn to watch Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park in 1978. I also remember thinking it was just about the coolest movie I [...]

Read more