Archive | April, 2009

Derby Weekend

Horses… beautiful, majestic animals, and they’re hung like, well… horses.  I don’t know shit about them other than that, but there is just something special about sitting in front of a television set on the first Saturday in May and watching the “Run for the Roses.”  It makes me nostalgic for a bygone age when horseracing was [...]

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This… Is World Leader Idol!

Your favorite (and not so favorite) world leaders of the past and present have gathered together for two purposes:  To entertain you, and to become the next World Leader Idol!  Polls open after the last performance.  Please comment with your vote.

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I Need A Hero… I’m Holding Out For… (oh nevermind)

True story, I wake up nearly every morning with small nicks and cuts on my hands, on my knuckles specifically, and no recollection of sustaining them. The only explanation that makes any sense at all is that I am leading a double life, fighting crime in my sleep like some superhero zombie. I asked my wife [...]

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Magic-Bullet-Theory-Comin’-Up-With-Benedict-Arnold-Mother-F’er

So Arlen Specter shed his red tie in favor of a blue one today.  No biggie.  People are saying it’s so he has a better chance to win re-election.  That’s like saying your buddy came out and said he was gay so he could suck more dick and maybe get fucked in the ass.  Hello, exactly. [...]

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Holy Crap, I Think I’m Man-struating!

I don’t have a man-cave, I don’t go on man-cations, nor am I engaged in a bromance. But every 28 days or so, I turn into a raging bitch. My already short fuse gets even shorter, and I am a dick to everyone. Everyone. Those who know me may never notice because my passive aggressiveness [...]

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Music Friday?

British hottie, Susan Boyle, has been getting alot of attention with her version of I Dreamed A Dream from Les Miserables, but her video is not embeddable, so I thought I would share some music videos that better suit my blog and its readers, and most importantly ARE embeddable. Enjoy. Here’s what happened right before [...]

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What’s In A Name?

Okay, I’d say the PR firm that handles Craig’s List has been working overtime lately, huh?  First off, I think we all know it’s the best place to find a prostitute when you’re visiting a new city (or just relaxing at home), and now we have the Craig’s List Killer.  I don’t care how successful [...]

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Scattered Thoughts

I find it a little ironic and hypocritical that many of the world’s Churches have come out (no pun) against gay marriage, yet all of these same Churches’ histories are steeped in a rich “oral tradition.” Okay, when someone says, “No pun intended,” I think that’s a lie, because in order to say that, they [...]

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So The First Jackass Said… Then The Second Jackass Said…

Jeff, I know the hair on your arms is standing up right now. It is so entertaining to hear two pseudo-intellectuals weigh in on the Tax Day Tea Parties. Look, I don’t know how many people across the country attended the rallies, but I imagine it is somewhere between what the right and the left [...]

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I Got Chills. They’re Multiplyin’

I know this is a really long clip (nearly 10 minutes), but I defy you to turn it off after Rosie O’Donnell appears.  I couldn’t do it.

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The Lady Getting Attacked By The Polar Bears Video I’m Sure You’ve All Seen By Now

I wonder when she realized jumping into the Polar Bear enclosure (okay habitat) was a really bad idea. On a side note, I think our local news should be read in German. I really enjoyed listening to that. Oh and by the way, did you notice how UN-traumatized the smiling kid witness was? Gotta protect [...]

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Burn After Reading

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while.  I got really busy at my day job for a few days, and then as time went on, I kept thinking that the next post had better be really good to justify not posting anything in days, then well it just snowballed and I got all verbally constipated [...]

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For My Wife. From Asshole

I might be a little late on this post.  I usually notice this sentiment on Valentine’s Day cards (or should I say Love Day cards, you know to avoid any religious overtones since it was once SAINT Valentine’s Day), but I have felt it with Anniversary cards as well. So many cards written from a husband [...]

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I’m Stalking You

I’m sure it’s very scary for Shawn Johnson to have a guy twice her age, bent on marrying her, show up at the set of Dancing With The Stars armed with a loaded .45, shotgun, duct tape, and zip ties, but do you think this video had anything to do to fuel her stalker’s obsession. [...]

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April Fools

This is a true story.  Seriously, look it up.  In fact, here is the LA Times version: UC San Diego — a school for the smart ones, supposedly — mistakenly congratulated nearly 29,000 applicants on their acceptance, according to university officials. Earlier this month, about 17,000 students were offered admission for the fall, leaving nearly 29,000 [...]

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