Archive | December, 2008

5 People From 2008 Whose Names I Never Needed To Know

One of those obligatory Year-In-Review list thingies. 5. Brody Jenner.  I actually just learned his name this past week. Lucky me. I’m sure by the middle of ’09 I’ll be sick to death of him, but I have to admit I am very intrigued by his reality show, Bromance.  Is he aware it’s basically The [...]

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Retarded Hollywood Brothers AKA The Portrait Of Dorian Gray Syndrome (PoDGS)

What if the Devil offered you an opportunity to be rich and famous. Would you take it? Don’t answer yet. What if he threw in that you could pretty much do whatever you wanted and you wouldn’t feel or show the consequences of your actions, but rather they would be borne out on your brother. [...]

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Eating Crow

Here’s the pertinent part of one of my posts from a mere five weeks ago: Ravens over Eagles. Yes, it is officially over. I suppose I was half right, which is actually about how I did all season long, which is also why I stopped boring you guys with my weekly predictions.  They really had [...]

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The Top Ten Signs Your Husband/Boyfriend Is Gay

I hope everyone had a happy and healthy Christmas. Either way, we can’t just sit around and dwell on it forever. It’s time to get back to business. Hey, I’m at work today, which you probably guessed since I’m updating my blog (HAHA). Actually today’s an easy day to work; you get instant credit just [...]

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Merry Life Day

Welcome to the 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special. I only put an excerpt because quite frankly I want you to come back. I think I discovered who is responsible for the whole “Political Correctness” movement– it’s George Lucas. I’m just not sure if he was using Star Wars as a vehicle to push his “non-offensive” [...]

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Ahh, The Nativity Story

The cold blustery days, those wintry mixes that come (or don’t come) at night.  They all remind me of that beautiful Christmas story of Mary the pregnant high school junior who ran away from home with her boyfriend Joey.  Ah yes, it was Mary’s job to lure the cars to the side of the road with [...]

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No Blog War At This Time

I tried to engage another blogger whose blog I was turned onto by a friend.  It’s a real snoozer and I’m not sure whose benefit he is writing it other than his own.  I was unsuccessful in taunting him because he turned off the setting to allow people to comment on his posts.  Who does that?  [...]

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And The Winner Is … Everyone. Yay!!!

What if every college football player got a Heisman Trophy at an end-of-the-year sports banquet.  Hell, why limit it to the football players?  Why not the lacrosse players, the swimmers, the girls’ field hockey team?  That’s alot of winners.  Wow, I would imagine everyone’s buttons would be busting.  The confidence that would come from such [...]

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There Had To Be A Second Shoe-ter. See The Way His Head Went Back & To The Left.

ALTERNATE TITLE: The President, Two Shoes & The Best Dressed Man In Congress I wonder if this was anything like the insurgent fire that Hillary had to avoid as she deplaned in Iraq.  Last week I had the privelege of attending the dedication of President Bush’s portrait at the Union League in Philadelphia.  The President [...]

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More Bits & Pieces

It’s time to clean up my notebook again.  Here’s more ideas that I couldn’t justify spending a whole post on: Is there anyone more arrogant than Barry Manilow?  Excluding tree surgeons of course.  These are his words:  I write the songs that make the whole world sing.  (Do ya?)  I am music… (Are ya?) Okay, I’m [...]

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An Elephant In Donkey’s Clothing

About a year ago, I posed this question to myself:  How in the hell is a Republican going to win the Presidential Election? The answer came to me yesterday:  By posing as a very very liberal Democrat. Okay, disregard every bad thing I said about our President Elect, the Honorable Barack H. Obama.  And for [...]

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‘Tis The Season

It’s that time of year again, time for almost-educated, ill-informed people to misinterpret the Constitution (yet again) and file complaints about hateful nativity scenes around town. It’s becoming as much of a tradition as egg-nog, kissing under the mistletoe and doing bumpers of coke late night, Christmas Eve (C’mon, what did you think Perry Como meant when [...]

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Black Black Friday

I’ve decided to not mention that my tee shirt designs are “Coming Soon!,” nor will I hype the arrival of said designs in any way if it helps to save even one person from being trampled when I do finally unveil my e-storefront.  Instead my tee shirts will appear with (I’m sure) very little fanfare, no [...]

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